Tight pants

I cannot help but dread the fall when I realize it is "doctor" season for me. I have made an effort these past few years to lump all my medical stuff into the same time of year so I don't have to spend my entire year dealing with doctors and tests and all that stuff, but the older I get, and the more doctors this involves, the more depressing it is becoming.

It started when I turned 40 with the regular mammogram. No big deal - go see the gyn and have my pap smear and get my mammo. Now its the gyn for those issues, then the family doctor for refills on my prescriptions, the dentist for getting my teeth cleaned and checked, and a yearly endoscopy to track my Barrett's Syndrome. Oh - and the bone scans, and the lab work....enough already!

I could yearn for the early days when I saw a doctor once in a great while when one of my kids had to go! But that would mean being young and stupid again. Or - I can chose to be like my father was and simply ignore any medical problems, not worry about preventive medicine, and simply not go for any check-ups. But at the end of the day what would that gain me? More hours every fall and less aggravation but possibly years off my life.

I don't know which is the best way to go here but I am rather afraid of the alternatives if I decide the high blood pressure and slow thyroid can just be ignored. On the other hand, having gained a few pounds I dread seeing anyone who can, simply by their being who they are, make me feel guilty and ashamed for my terrible shortcomings. They are all very kind but even walking into their offices makes me cringe. A lifetime of feeling judged for your weight will do that to a person.

Well, as usual I will suck it up and go, visiting multiple doctors for various issues and get it all out of the way for another year. But I am dreading the fall!