Mirror madness

When I was a young girl I stessed and fretted over every part of my appearance - which is a normal state for teens I think - but it seems so ironic now. Those were the years I actually looked good. What was I so worried about? Here I am now at my age and now I should be working hard ot make myself presentable - yet I have rather a laissez-faire approach to the morning's mirror duties. Sort of a here-it-is-world-take-it-or-leave-it approach.

I imagine an anthropologist will explain it all as life-cycle stuff; you know, primping and preening in seaarch of a mate, then settling down to the business of life when our reproductive years are over. I suppose there is something to be said for that. But honestly, I think its just because I was so stupid when I was young. I always thought I was ugly, fat, plain, ungifted - you name it, I didn't have it. Now, I look back at photos when I was a teenager and I think "Hey-you were a pretty girl!". My son almost blew me away once when he saw an old photo of me and remarked "Wow Mom, you were hot!" Me, hot? I don't think so.

I guess my sister has it right. She explained recently that she finally realized every time she saw a photo of herself when she was younger - by even 10 years - she thought "Gee, I looked so much better then!" So now she figures she should just enjoy the way she looks now because its all downhill from here!

I don't want to be one of those people who takes an hour to get out of the bathroom for all the make-up and hair business. Nor do I want to ever consider cosmetic surgery of any kind! Nothing is sadder to me than an older woman who has a face so tight she looks like she has trouble opening her eyes wide enough to see. No, I want to accept my age with grace and be proud of what I look like. But I struggle with the yearning to be "cute". I think its a holdover from my teens, but whatever it is, I can't sem to shake it. I know "cute" is only a dream. But where would we be without our dreams?