Remembering

The interesting thing about middle-age is that I find myself reflecting so often on the past. Which is a bit scary because I used to think that elderly people tended to live in the past rather than embrace the present, so it's sobering to find myself sometimes fixated on times gone by. But I understand that now. Because there are so many memories that are part of who I am.

The holidays are full of memories. Perhaps losing both our mothers in the past two years has made them more acute for me because I am thinking so much about Thanksgivings and Christmases past right now. I remember happy times in my own childhood, which for a troubled girl like me did not come that often. They were mostly centered on holidays. And as a young married woman I think about those first holidays we shared together and they always make me smile. There is nothing like the optimism and joy of young love. And of course, so many years spent with my little ones, those wonderful beings that make our lives so amazing. I remember mornings around one Christmas tree with those kids and afternoons around another as we moved from family to family to celebrate. I remember laughter and joy in those homes. I miss those people who raised us and loved us and helped us become the people we are. I will always miss them at the holidays.

But I still have plenty of holidays left in me I hope! And I think there are many wonderful memories to still me made. It's not a bad time in life really - plenty to remember and smile about...and plenty to look forward to as well. Not such a bad place to be!